We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.— Lily Tomlin

Sense and truth have never had much place in our cultural discourse on sex, and few aspects of the topic have been more twitchingly mismanaged than masturbation. Those who recall the baffling mix of intense pleasure and intense shame that accompanies most discoveries of masturbation should want nothing more than to spare our own kids the unnecessary torment. Yet masturbation, the very first form of sex kids will generally encounter, is the topic most often missing from parent-child discussions of sex.

The roots of our dysfunctional attitudes toward masturbation are intertwined with the age-old distrust of bodily pleasures. That distrust probably didn’t originate in religion. Among other things, religion is simply a place to put our most beloved bad ideas for safekeeping. But when it comes to perpetuating and reinforcing dysfunctional attitudes toward the safest sex of all, it’s hard to beat the Abrahamic religions for over-the-top hysteria.

In the absence of communication on the issue, children are guaranteed to feel tremendous shame and guilt when the natural developments of early adolescence lead them to self-stimulation. When your child is on the cusp of puberty, casually let him or her know:

• What masturbation is;
• That it’s a normal thing nearly everyone does at some point;
• That it’s a natural indication that the body is becoming ready for sexual activity and reproduction;
• That all of the stories about grave consequences are complete nonsense;
• That though it is not shameful, it should be done only in private.

Removing the guilt and shame from our children’s first encounters with their sexuality requires no detailed description or instruction—just simple permission. And nonreligious parents, free of repressive doctrines, are in an ideal position to give their children that permission, as well as the mental, emotional, and sexual health that comes with it. (Source)

Dale McGowan, Ph.D., holds degrees in the arts and sciences from UC Berkeley, UCLA, and the University of Minnesota. He is the editor of the 2007 book Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion.

I have never watched an episode of The Two Coreys, though if I had I’d be too ashamed to admit it.

All I’ve heard are the teasers announcing an upcoming episode while watching another show on AETV. Teasers, a form of preview, are supposed to make a person want to see the program being previewed. These 30 second spots make you want to change the channel.

My deepest desire, based on having seen perhaps 5 of the promotions for this show, is that these two pathetic fratboys would get into a fight and render each other comatose.

Does A&E consider watching a pair of former-child actors audition for Jackass: The Movie x2 art or entertainment? Please justify either choice. It appears, from what little I’ve seen, that this show is not simply neither art nor entertainment, it’s the polar opposite, the epitome of all that which is not artistic or entertaining.

Maybe they’ll guest star on Intervention and I’ll be able to ignore them twice a week.  I wish A&E would put some substantive programming on in place of this tripe. Better yet, hire John Cleese to play both roles and fire these two nitwits.

to write a lengthy entry on a topic of vital importance to humanity, but I don’t.

You see, I have to train for the upcoming marathon I’m participating in.  It’s to raise funds to find a cure for prostate cancer.  The full marathon is masturbating  for 26 hours straight, but there’s a mini marathon that you can complete in 26 minutes (some of have jobs, you know) and for married men there’s the “special” marathon that’s 26 seconds long.

So, I’ve got to don my crotchless skintight jogging suit and practice for a few sets.  You’ve got to be in shape.  Doing one of these marathons if you’re out of shape or haven’t warmed up will result in a nasty groin pull.

Let’s all cure prostrate cancer.  Lend a hand.  Let’s all pull together.  We can beat it.

Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest.

They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.

And they say sexual intercourse may not have the same protective effect because of the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted infection, which could increase men’s cancer risk.

Australian researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 who had not about their sexual habits.

They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer.

The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20s.

Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.

Dr Chris Hiley, head of policy and research at the UK’s Prostate Cancer Charity, told BBC News Online: “This is a plausible theory.”  (Source)